WeissCrax: The Monday Game

TV Entertainer Drew Carey scores "Monday material" with Presidio Sports columinst Randy Weiss.

Let’s face it ….

Monday mornings are typically when ‘bragging rights’ are established amongst friends and colleagues for The Most Outrageous Weekend Adventure.

‘The Game’ is one in which everyone’s a player, but few admit to playing.

Only two simple rules: 1) choose opponents wisely & 2) play within your same category.

For singles and couples without children: stories of exotic travel, hedonistic or sexual escapades will have serious consequences if cross-pollinated with sleep-deprived parents.

Plus, they can’t hear you anyway above that loud mantra screaming uncontrollably in their heads, “WAIT ‘TIL YOU HAVE KIDS!”

For parents: share non-exotic, non-hedonistic and likely non-sexual escapades only with other parents.

Once the opposing player(s) are lured into innocent conversation — it’s like on that TV game show: ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ when they say “OK, Let’s play!”

It’s easy to recall one fateful Monday awhile back …

Told my two new friends, Lance and Julie Schroeder, that in a rare occurrence, we managed to keep all four family members in the same time zone … logged 2,381 miles traveling separately with two daughters to four soccer games at three different sites … only one game was played at our home soccer field, which was exactly 46.7 miles from home.

Ding. Ding. Round One over …

With impressive numbers and a tight presentation — thought victory was all mine.

Stupid me, tho – I fell victim to not following The Game’s selection criteria. Using better judgment, I shoulda picked my opponent(s) AFTER morning coffee.

Carmel is among the popular romantic destinations sans kids - a 'trump card' for Monday competitions!

Turns out these guys are ‘local legends’ in disguise. Ya’ see, the odds were already in their favor since they had four children.

And the real reason why these Schroeders had soooo many kids? To intentionally dominate these Monday morning competitions, of course!

Hey, check this out….

Ding. Ding. Round Two. Julie up!

“It’s a constant juggling act. My iPhone has the latest Kids Sports GPS Software to track my children around the globe 24/7/365 …yada … yada … yada…”

It was a high-tech production – from my view against the ropes, while protecting my mid-section from further damage.

Wait! There’s more…

Confidently, Lance started Round Three by tugging on his trunks and coming out swinging. Sensing an easy TKO (Technical Knock Out), he said they “… had traveled 5,346 miles encompassing 27 venues for water polo, soccer and hockey.”

Not bad, considering they never left town.

Next came the knockout punch: “Sunday was worse.”

Picking myself up sloooowly — from my knees, my only words: “How do you do it?”

“There’s more time since I’m not coaching five hockey teams at one time like I did last year,” Lance replied.

Scorecards weren’t necessary. The final decision was obvious, unanimous and no contest.

Two of the nicest and most unsuspecting people you’ll ever meet maintained their unblemished Monday morning record. I lost badly.

Mercifully, it was over quickly …

Made a small mental note to stay far away from these two professionals every Monday and play ‘The Game’ with my pal, Bob after coffee, as he and Melanie only have two daughters playing soccer and tennis.

This league, I am in …